Vipassana Meditation: 10 days of Noble Silence Experience

Background

It has been 10 years of being happily married to Manoj and there's never a dull moment with him. However, 2023 brought a whirlwind of events that deeply impacted our lives, leading us both to seek mental peace. Fast forward to July 2024, Manoj was looking for something different to occupy his time off from work. After discussing a few ideas together, I decided to sign him up for a 10-day silent meditation retreat called Vipassana, giving him some much-needed "me time." This retreat had been on his wishlist for the longest time, so I thought he would appreciate the opportunity.

He was very grateful and attended the 10-day retreat while I stayed behind, solo parenting our two boys and managing all the demands of life. When he returned, he shared only a few details about the experience but expressed how much he loved it, encouraging me to try it myself to truly understand its value. Without giving me much of a choice, he went ahead and signed me up for a retreat three months later in Kelseyville, about 100 miles from our home. (We learned that these courses are always fully booked, so securing a spot requires signing up well in advance.) With three months to go, I didn’t think much about it at the time and focused on the usual busyness of kids and work.

During this time, I had the opportunity to successfully launch some amazing initiatives at work, which brought immense satisfaction. I was overjoyed, at peace, and feeling on top of the world. Despite working late hours, I was brimming with energy and eager to take on even more! (Unusual! but I was truly elated!) Meanwhile, I received an email from the Vipassana center about three weeks before the course, asking me to confirm my attendance. Without giving much thought into it, I confirmed, thinking I had plenty of time to mentally prepare myself. A few days later, I informed my manager about my plans to ensure a solid coverage plan during my absence. 

As the days passed, reality began to sink in, and nervousness crept up. I started questioning my decision: Why am I going to this meditation course? I feel perfectly happy and at peace—why do I need to leave my family for 10 days and be away from my 3- and 6-year-old kids? To top it off, I had zero meditation experience and was about to embark on a retreat that required students to meditate for 14 hours a day 😮

I spoke to my husband, and he reassured me that he would take great care of the kids while I attended the Vipassana retreat. He encouraged me to see it as a much-needed vacation from to-do lists, planning kids’ meals and activities, juggling weekend schedules, and balancing work and home life. He raved about the delicious food they serve at the retreat, which added to the appeal. Gradually, I started shifting my mindset, convincing myself to view it as a vacation, and before long, I actually began looking forward to it. 

What is Vipassana?

Vipassana, is a Pali word that means to observe. Its also known as Insight Meditation and is a type of meditation that focuses in observing things as they are, without bias or distortion. Vipassana is one of the world's most popular meditation techniques. It was discovered by Buddha in India more than 2500 years ago. This technique is often taught in a 10 day course where participants learn the basics and practice under the guidance of experienced teachers. Currently the course is taught through audio and video recordings taken from Late S.N Goenka ji's one of his previous retreats. The course is completely free of cost. All expenses are met by donations from old students - people who went through a course before, experienced the benefits and wish to give others the opportunity to benefit from this technique. 

Little more about the Technique

The tool that is used in this technique is respiration / sensations of your own body. In simple words, it is about observing your breath and sensations of your body as they are. Not creating craving for any pleasant sensations nor aversion for the unpleasant ones. In other words, keeping our mind in a very balanced/equanimous state in spite of the sensations being pleasant/unpleasant. The idea behind this is these sensations are transient in nature (Anicca). Not just the sensations but everything in life is temporary. The real life application of this technique is beautifully explained in the discourses that happens every night and those were my favorite part of the day. For example, a normal person when they encounter unpleasant experience in their life they react with anger, hatred, ill-will, frustration or a negative emotion towards the situation/another person. But with this technique we are taught not to react with these negative emotions because everything is temporary in nature. If we react with any of these negative emotions then we create more misery for ourselves. And so we spin the wheel of misery for ourselves and the misery continues to follow us. Whereas if we accept and acknowledge the situation and think of it as temporary and not react and maintain an equanimous mind then we are relieving ourselves from the cycle of misery. I wont go too much into the technique here. I will say the same as my husband, you have to experience it yourself to know what it is. But trust me, its worth your time for the 10 day course.   

Additional insights

• The only way to participate in Vipassana is through taking a 10 day course. There is no shorter duration course available to learn this technique. It is believed that it takes at least 10 days to fully understand this technique for a new comer. You don't need any prior meditation experience to learn the technique. Once you have taken a 10 day course, you can take 3 day course at any center across the world.
• The attendees of Vipassana course must undertake five precepts for the duration of the course:
1. to abstain from killing
2. to abstain from stealing
3. to abstain from telling lies
4. to abstain from all sexual activity
5. to abstain from all intoxicants
• In addition to the precepts there are some other rules that a student should adhere to:
• Noble Silence: Students must observe noble silence from the beginning of the course until the morning of last full day. That means any form of communication whether by gestures, written notes, eye contact or sign language is prohibited. You can talk to course manager and/or teachers for any questions/concerns.
• Separation of men and women throughout the course.
• No physical exercise or yoga. No form of action that disturbs other students.
• No technology, phone, internet, or any form of communication with outside world.
• No music, writing or reading material is allowed.
• The rules may sound very strict but they are meant to help students observe themselves without having the outside world seed a thought or distract students during this 10 day period.

The Timetable

This is how our entire day looked like:

In summary, for the first 3 days one focuses on their respiration and rest 6 days one focuses on body sensations. There are 1 hour discourses in the night everyday to explain the technique. There are several other times we were shown  Goenkaji's recordings to teach the meditation technique during the day. Everyday there was something new introduced to us that we would practice for the rest of the day. There is a time slot to schedule appointment with Assistant teacher to ask any questions that may have. (Thats the only time we were allowed to talk) Day 10 is when we were introduced a new meditation technique called Metta Bhavana which involves cultivating feelings of love, kindness and compassion towards oneself and others.  After 10am on day 10, Noble silence is lifted and everyone is free to talk to each other. They called it as a shock absorber day in order to get ready to face the world after 9 days of silence. It felt so blissful on that day. I made good friends in the short time we had with each other on that day. 

Good to know's

• The Vipassana center has a ride share program and I had signed up for a ride share. It was definitely a great idea to carpool and connect with people taking this journey along with you. My carpool partner was an amazing young lady who has been meditating for the longest time but was taking a plunge into Vipassana technique for the first time. The fact that she was leaving her 3 year old home helped boost my confidence instantly. (Very grateful to you if you are reading this!)
• Men and Women are separated in the Vipassana course. When I went, I somehow assumed I would see lot of elderly folks but I was wrong. Vast majority of the people on women's side were of age between 22-40. It was enlightening to find young people are taking this journey more than elderly. There were total 30 females and 30 males in the course. Pretty much this technique is used by people in various phases of life to help them manage their stress in this fast moving life. Lot of college students find it helpful to navigate their lives with this technique. While I was there, I already planned that I will send my boys to Vipassana once they are 18-20 years of age to help them handle their lives better.
• Although Goenkaji mentioned in his first day discourse, that day 2 and day 7 are the days many people quit from the course but none from our batch quit. I also realized I am a person of very strong determination during this course. I was assuming I can only do things with strong determination if I do them willingly. But, I was sent to this course out of my will, in spite of that I was strong willed to complete it and not quit it. 
• The food that was served for breakfast and lunch was very delicious. They have a variety in their menu with options from Mexican, Thai, Indian and American food on different days.
• As they dont serve dinner, the first few days was hard for me and I would feel hungry during the morning meditation session. After few days I started saving some nuts from breakfast to have it in night before going to bed to prevent my stomach from growling. 
• There is stricter schedule and roles and responsibilities for old students. 
• There is a course manager to help you if you have any questions about the management of the stay. He/She would ring the bell 10 mins before inception of the next activity from the timetable above. That helped everyone to keep track of time. An old student would ring the bell outside every room to wake students up before the morning meditation. That was super helpful. 

PS: This draft was saved for 2 years when I finally published it. Literally found it when I am trying to relive that time again 2 years later.